Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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