i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
