i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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