I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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