she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
