So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
3pm strippers are depressing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize