somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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