Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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