I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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