You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
