I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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