I'm so fucking centered right now
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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