Me. At least after what I've been through.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
