ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
