What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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