He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize