I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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