I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
