Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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