we have pet lesbian snakes
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
