sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize