i think my tv is drunk
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
