Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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