I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
