I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
