either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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