why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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