we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
