I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
