She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
