What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
