I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize