so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
