I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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