please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
