Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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