Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
do herpes really smell.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
