I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize