i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
