Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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