My first STD was from a foam party
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
