Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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