"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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