im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
someone owes me an orgasm
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
