I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Enjoy the penises
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize