u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
