I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
