I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize