i think my tv is drunk
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize