none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
