Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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