Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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