but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
