I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
