So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize