Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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