oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize