I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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