Having a random hookup so left but love u
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize