I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize