4 words: hood of his car
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
