At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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