Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
