Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
