Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
