Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
