Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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