in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm passing your future prison.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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